This is Our Time (Paleheart)

[Duskstar]

It was sunhigh, and the sun was high in the sky indeed. A cool newleaf breeze rolled lazily through ThunderClan's camp, causing the growing leaves on the trees to rustle slightly. Even if Duskstar wasn't the biggest fan of this sort of "bright and happy" day, he had to admit that he certainly appreciated it.

As the massive tom wandered into his Clan's camp, he set a mouse down on the fresh-kill pile, then glanced around to find someone to share the squirrel, which was surprisingly plump, that he had caught only a few minutes prior. Duskstar's eyes caught on the medicine den, and he set off on a steady pace to see Paleheart.

"Paleheart? Are you in here? I'm not sure how you feel about squirrel, but I feel you should take a lunch break," Duskstar called out after plopping the squirrel down. The tom sat and waited patiently, beginning to wash a paw.

OOC: My writing's a bit of a yucky mess right now. My apologies for that.

[Paleheart]

The pale she-cat had recently gotten back from gathering herbs.  The pickings were minimal seeing that it was newleaf and the young plants needed more time to grow.  Her supply was low, but with the weather being the way it was and how well the clan was eating there would not be too much need to over stock.  Her paws worked away at the dried leaves and petals, organizing them for the second time today.  This time it was by the type of herb and the age of it.  A small discard pile was forming and Paleheart was just about to dig a little hole to put them in when she heard the heavy footsteps of an approaching cat and caught the scent of a fresh-kill.  The cat's scent who was approaching was almost covered by the delicious smell.

Duskstars low call made her swivel around and trot towards the entrance of the den.  "Hello, Duskstar."  Her soft voice was cheery, the weather had certainly kept her mood up.  "A squirrel will do just fine, I'm not picky."  Palehearts stomach made a sound, solidifying her words.  The organization of the herbs had distracted her from a hunger that was gently gnawing at her belly.  "Will you be having some yourself?"  The cats green eyes rested on her leaders face.  She knew that she probably wouldn't eat the whole thong on her own and it would be a shame to let the left overs go to waste.

OOC: Hush hush, your post is perfectly fine.

[Duskstar]

"Yes, of course," Duskstar responded politely, nudging the squirrel toward the older she-cat, adding, "first bite is yours, however." Feeling a bit itchy, Duskstar took a few steps back and turned his head, sneezing several times. When he was younger, the tom had developed a habit of staying away from the medicine den, because there was something about it that made his nose go absolutely insane - the herbs, maybe, or the dust in the air? The tom sighed, irritated, and began gently rubbing his paw on his wet, dripping gray nose.

After a few minutes, Duskstar padded forward again and crouched down, taking a few bites of the prey. Having never been much of a conversationalist, Duskstar shook himself, ruffling his pelt a bit, as he pondered what to say next. Finally, the tom cleared his throat and said, "Newleaf must be difficult for you with so many herbs growing in, hm? I'd suggest that we work on getting you an apprentice soon, but unfortunately, it does not seem as though many of our warriors are interested in having kittens at the moment. If you need any part-time help, I suppose you could always turn to a warrior, or even myself if I'm not busy." It was an odd thing, saying "if I'm not busy", and as Duskstar thought about his words, he began to regret them. Ever since he had been named ThunderClan's deputy, he had been nothing but busy, and as a leader, the pressure was even stronger. It wasn't as though he didn't love his position, because he did, and truthfully, Duskstar wouldn't give it up for anything, but the lack of free time certainly got from him every now and then. If he did indeed end up with free time, the leader was far more likely to go out for a quick, lone hunt than to help out the medicine cat with gathering herbs, but in no way did he feel any guilt toward this.

[Paleheart]

Paleheart nodded, pleased that he chose to stay and share a quick meal with her.  Hopefully, it wouldn't drag him away from any duties that needed to be completed.  She crouched down and took a bite of the squirrel, sending her thanks to Starclan despite the hard times with the Dark Hearts.  If Starclan could do anything about it, she believed they would.  The taste of the warm squirrel flesh pulled her mind away from those thoughts though.  Her bite was interrupted by a slightly violent fit of sneezes from Duskstar.  The med-cat looked up at him for a moment, making sure his eyes were clear and that his knows wasn't swollen. His eyes were both clear and his nose was normal size, but dripping.  She stifled a small chuckle.  The herbs in the den must have bothered his nose.  The dead ones were probably to blame for that, seeing that they broke apart and scattered around the area when the herbs usually stayed pressed against the back wall.  

For a few moments, they sat quietly enjoying the meal and alternating bites.  It wasn't long before the little creature was nearly gone.  Duskstar broke the silence after taking a bite of one of the last pieces of meat.  The thought of having an apprentice pleased her, it would be nice to have a helping paw once and a while.  "Hmph, I wouldn't want to have any kittens around this time either.  The Dark Hearts seem to be much more adamant about their collections in newleaf."  A tone of uncharacteristic disdain rumbled in her tone but was quickly pushed off when she spoke again, "But, yes, having an apprentice would be... beneficial.  One will come when the time is right." Paleheart nodded to herself, pulling herself out of a crouching position in a more comfortable sitting.  "I have enough herbs for now, as long no one gets terribly wounded or sick I shouldn't have to pull you or any of the warriors away from their duties."

The cat new all too well that there were plenty of mouths to feed even without the queens and kits in the clan.  She has also seen the stress the deputy and leader have to deal with.  The last thing she would want would to add to it.  No, so far she has been able to go out on her own to find herbs.  There has been no danger to deal with in the woods.  No foxes or trespassing cats. But, Paleheart was also knew that too much stress could lead to weakness, she has seen it as well as many other cats.  Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to see if she could get Duskstar out of the camp for a bit to stretch his legs.  

"I was going to take a short walk to stretch my legs and get out of the den.  You could join me, if there isn't anything that you needed to tend to right away."  The excuse was a bit lame, but it would do.  She lifted her paw to her nose giving it a few quick and thoughtful licks. "Who knows, it might do you some good."  She squinted at him, pretending to looks very closely at his face, "Especially since you are already starting to look older then me."  Of course, their age was not that extreme in difference, but it was easy to poke some fun.

[Duskstar]

"Very true, but even so, they're bound to come and take kittens every moon, anyway. If we knew their location and size, I would gladly discuss the idea of an attack with my fellow Clan leaders. Unfortunately, it seems that every cat who journeys out to find the camp meets a rather... morbid fate." Duskstar ended with narrowed eyes, glancing down at the dead piece of prey and momentarily imagining it as a cat. As the medicine cat continued speaking, mentioning that an apprentice would be "beneficial", Duskstar distractedly mumbled a response, "Yes, I agree. Our ancestors work in mysterious ways. You'll get an apprentice." The tom calmly poked a paw at the squirrel carcass, clearing his throat once again and looking up at Paleheart, finally ending his little moment of being spaced out. "I'm glad to hear that ThunderClan's herb supply is well. StarClan knows when something will happen to tear us up a bit. It's been a while since something has happened, and I wouldn't be surprised if some battle broke out or a weather-related catastrophe occurred. Either way, ThunderClan will always survive." Duskstar had always been rather pessimistic. Everything had hit him so fast when he was younger, he'd always felt as though he'd been forced to grow up too soon, and it had affected the way he thought and felt about the world around him - colors were darker, bright days were headache-inducing, every happy moment had a consequence, an underlying shadow to kill the mood.

But what had Paleheart's life been like? Duskstar was seventeen moons younger than her. By the time he was born, she was fully grown and probably a full medicine cat (although he didn't quite remember if she had her full name at that point, he did remember her mentor - a secretive, clever tom he was). Did Paleheart like her mentor, or did she place distrust in him as Duskstar had? Did she have any family, or had they all been doomed to die, maybe of old age, a badger attack, a battle? Normally, Duskstar was the "mind your own business" type, but there was something about deputies, medicine cats, and medicine cat apprentices that made Duskstar feel as though he had to know them - the real them, not the them that the Clan normally saw. Those three cats were the ones that Duskstar would need to be able to put full trust into, the ones that guided him in leading ThunderClan. Their importance was equal to that of his own, and because of this, Duskstar felt a hunger for knowledge.

Duskstar listened as the medicine cat spoke again, nodding, "Why, yes, I'd love to take a walk with you." At the joke, the tom purred for a moment, gently nudging Paleheart, "Now, now, Paleheart, no need to be insulting your ol' leader." As Duskstar stood to leave the den, he began wondering how he could approach this subject in a way that wouldn't seem artificial or rude. Was there a way? The tom toyed with various ideas in his head before finally meowing, "Paleheart, I feel that you should know my views on my Clan's deputy, medicine cat, and medicine cat apprentices. I trust StarClan to choose my healers wisely, and to help guide me in selecting a deputy. However, every cat can be wrong from time to time, and StarClan has... well, they've been off in their predictions in the past, if you know what I mean," the tom shot Paleheart a sort of nervous glance, hoping to not offend her, "I simply feel that a leader should be close to those who are in charge of helping them lead a Clan. I normally wouldn't go poking my nose in another cat's history, but in a case such as this, I think we can get to know each other better and be able to trust one another more if we are able to share our stories." Was that too much? Duskstar pondered, hoping he hadn't caused Paleheart any sort of deafness or put her into unconsciousness due to boredom.

[Paleheart]

A pleased purr came from the medicine cat as he agreed to walk with her. It seemed as though her not-so-clever plan had worked well enough. Another happy sound came from her as he prodded her, almost playfully shunning her for calling him old, his use of the words ol’ leader got her too. She shook her head and stood as he did. They had begun their walk towards the woods with only a few moments of silence before Duskstar spoke. Paleheart could hear an odd note to his tone, something near serious but also curious. She matched his stride and listened carefully.

He spoke carefully of trust, in both other cats and in Starclan. For a moment, she was suspicious. She half wondered if the tom had had a vision of sorts himself, which would be why he brought up the instability of their predictions. ”Yes, I know what you mean. They can be very misleading.” But, with his next words her earlier thought was proven wrong. A cat-like smile made her whiskers twitch as he brought up the idea of sharing each other’s stories. To her, it was a wonderful idea. There is a type of bond formed when one shares their life story with another. It sets up the base for trust to start growing, much like the way herbs do. They grow slowly, and then all at once they have become a useful part of daily lives.

”I think… that that would be a wonderful plan.” She glanced over to him, ”But I must warn you, my story is one that may put you to sleep. So I guess it is good that we are walking.” Paleheart used this light humor to cover up the slight bit of nervousness she had. Sure, this was a great idea, and yes, her story was a boring one. But it was also very… informational, in a way. There were plenty of things she had told no other cat. Perhaps she would just settle on the basics and with time she would share more.

Her paws hit the soft grass of the woods, which was a nice change from the dusty, packed in dirt of the camp. The change in setting seemed to be the perfect signal to let the story telling begin. ”I think, that as Leader, you should take the honors of going first.” Paleheart switched her green haze from the path ahead to the gray tom. ”Unless you would rather I tell.” This almost felt as though they were apprentices about to share big secrets they had heard about. One had to go first in order to hear the other.

[Duskstar]

Duskstar flicked his tail-tip gently on Paleheart's back in an attempt at assuring her that her story certainly wouldn't bore him. "I'm not sure we'll even be able to get through my life story in one day, so why don't you go first? It'll help me think about how I should tell mine, anyway, so I don't keep you up all night with it." His eyes were flecked with amusement as he glanced over at the older feline. He was happy that she agreed to do this - if she hadn't, then some form of distrust would have formed rather quickly in Duskstar's mind. Not every cat had the most pleasant back story (as Duskstar knew from experience), and many were probably unwilling or unable to come to terms with their pasts and would not be able to handle sharing, but some reaction would be formed from that - raised fur, fearful, jerky motions, sadness deep within the eyes, anything. In most cases, if a cat had a relatively normal history, they would react as such, and most cats knew that Duskstar wouldn't ask about a cat's past without a good reason. Medicine cats always seemed to have deep histories, as Duskstar had heard stories of previous medicine cats when he was but a kit, so if anything other than happy, the tom was a bit surprised that Paleheart agreed to share.

Duskstar could, however, see where this was going: a game, perhaps? "You tell me and I tell you"? In a way, the worst, most twisted piece of this was that either one of them could lie. The gray tabby wasn't particularly worried about this with Paleheart, but he knew it was a possibility, as it was in any social situation. Everything said would have to be taken with exaggerations and mottled memories in mind. No cat was perfect, after all.

The tom walked on, alongside his Clan's medicine cat, and his mind kept working. Did she know her father, maybe he took care of her after her mother passed (if her mother was still around)? Had Paleheart gone through any major loss that changed her views of the world and made her want the path of a medicine cat over the road of a warrior? When one considered another being's life story, one had to think about every piece and how they all fit together. "It's interesting," Duskstar mumbled on this note, "how all of the things that happen in our lives come together and mold us into who we are as we age."

[Paleheart]

”Well, I suppose that means this will have to be a two part occasion. But I don’t mind going first, just have to figure out where to start.” Surely, birth was too far back. She didn’t even remember that, so she figured her apprentice-hood would work out well. She puzzled the pieces together that she felt would be worth telling. The medicine cat knew only small bits of Duskstars past, but she knew it was hectic enough to need a while to tell. She was full grown when the little mass of gray fluff was born. But, her training had been rigorous and she could not keep up with the entire goings on of one cat. Things only got busier when her mentor passed on.


Her train of thought was broken by Duskstars voice once again, which made her realize she had just been walking in silence. ”Mm, yes. Our paths all go different ways and yet they reach the same ending. It’s amazing how ones winding path of turmoil and anothers path of leisure can end the same.” The though was almost staggering and slightly morbid, but Paleheart knew that it was life and Starclan would guide each one through it. ”My path is one in between turmoil and leisure.” The perfect opening to a short story.


”I had started my apprenticeship training to be a warrior. But, I was not as strong or as skilled as the others. You see, my mother, Honeyflower, was older and only had two kits. Me and my brother or sister.” Paleheart paused sheepishly, ”I don’t remember which. My mother never talked about them after they were taken. I was the weaker one and it didn’t help that now I had no one to practice and play with to get stronger. That’s why I fell behind in training. I was sure I was about to be the worst warrior the clans had ever seen.” Her eyes slid over to Duskstar as she gave a short almost bitter laugh. ”But, I figured I wasn’t meant to be a warrior when Starclan sent me dream. It was eye opening, to say the least. The next day I went to my mentor and told her the news. This and that happened and I was tossed to Smokecloud. He was the medicine cat that passed on soon after you were born. I don’t know if you remember him or not.”


Paleheart paused for a minute, remembering the tom that taught her all she knew. It almost hurt to think about him even though so much time had passed since he moved on to join the ranks of Starclan. ”He was like a father to me, seeing that my own had died before I was born. I will never forget him.” The little pale she cat’s voice was ripe with some emotion. Usually, she tried not to bring up Smokecloud, but it felt right to mention it to Duskstar. She had not had many others to talk to about his death.


OOC: Little unorganized but its a start c; 

[Duskstar]

That was certainly an interesting way of putting it that Duskstar had not thought of before - turmoil versus leisure, and how the two ends of the spectrum mixed in one's life. In those moments, Duskstar began to wonder where exactly his life lied on the scale, whether the deaths he'd faced from a young age tipped the balance into the turmoil area, or if his promotions up to leadership were strong enough to bring him more on the leisurely path. Were the responsibilities and stresses of being a leader too much for Duskstar to handle? He'd heard stories of previous leaders who disappeared, never to return, simply because they couldn't handle it, and although he had never seen himself going down that path (Duskstar had never predicted - or strove for - leadership when he was younger, let alone how he would handle it or what would become of him), one never really knew. Duskstar supposed it didn't matter too much, seeing as he was still around, but it was something to think about.

Duskstar listened quietly to Paleheart's story, looking over at her once in a while so she'd know he was actually paying attention. "I see. I remember Smokecloud quite well, actually," Duskstar's eyes narrowed and he looked somewhere off in the distance, "I suppose I wouldn't expect you to know how old I was, but it ... well, let's just say that his death wasn't too soon after my birth. He was around for long enough to impact me." The tom grew stiff, remembering the secret that his mentor and the medicine cat had hidden from him and all of ThunderClan. Those traitors had definitely left some sort of mark on the young leader, because any sign of a forbidden relationship or traitorous behavior in ThunderClan meant exile under Duskstar's rule. "I'm sorry that Smokecloud had to be taken from you, considering your relationship with you. No cat is perfect, though, and not everyone has the same experience with every cat. I want to warn you now for when my time to share comes. It might not be very easy for you to accept, and you might not want to hear it. Whether or not it's important for you to know is... well, it's certainly debatable, but I can't leave it out."

Duskstar waited a few moments, then cast another curious glance at his medicine cat, nodding at her to continue.

[Paleheart]

She was surprised when Duskstar claimed to remember her late mentor. Perhaps she should have paid better attention in the past, but then again, how was she to know that she would be talking to the one cat who knew him. His apprehensive tone caught her for a moment , she looked to him with a tilted head. She also saw his tense movements making her even more curious. What was his connection with her mentor? Clearly there was a hole that needed to filled, something she had missed. His stiffness almost had her stiff as well. She kept her eyes on his face as he continued to speak. What wouldn’t she be able to accept? What atrocity had Smokecloud commited? Something had been hidden from her, if what Duskstar was saying was true. Paleheart’s chest tightened slightly and she nodded, almost warily. ”All right.”

For another moment she was silent, but her leader nodded at her to continue. The medicine cat dragged her thoughts away from what he had said earlier and continued, albeit a bit more carefully. ”After… I was appointed to be a medicine cat apprentice things got better overall. I was able to fulfill my tasks with ease and everything was going well. After he died I had struggled with doing what the clan needed. I struggled with having to check on the queens who cried to me about having to lose one of their kits.” Paleheart paused, debating whether or not to tell him this next part.

She had, at one point, tried to hide away a kit. The kits mother had only given birth to one living kitten, and had begged Paleheart to take the kit away and say that all of them died the next time she went to the place for birthing queens. The plan didn’t go well, but the recruiter was kinder than most and told her he would not tell. She hasn’t seen that tom since and still dreads the idea of running in to him again.

No, this story would be saved. The she-cat picked up again, ”I still struggle with that. It almost makes me grateful that I am not allowed kits. I don’t think I could take the sorrow.” With that, she ended her story. With time, more would be revealed. But, now she wanted to hear Duskstars. Her curiosity and wariness as to what he had to say about her mentor had grown.

[Duskstar]

Maybe Duskstar had made a mistake, talking poorly of her mentor right after she confided that Smokecloud had been like a father to her. It was a little now, though, but he was a bit disappointed that Paleheart seemed a little more cautious after what he said. Was she thinking about Smokecloud and how he may not have been the exact same cat she'd always believed him to be? Duskstar had seen enough of that in his life, leaving him to feel as though there were few surprises left to endure when it came to other felines and how they acted. In many cases, knowing someone for uncountable moons wasn't enough, and in one night, everything one once knew about them was flipped around, leaving nothing but a trail of confusion, disappointment, and anger behind.

A warrior apprentice who had not been set on the right path. Duskstar wondered how odd it must have been for Paleheart to be a normal apprentice, but not feel like apprentice. Was it something deep in the back of her head, nagging her to take a look at herself and figure it out, or was it just that the day-to-day life of hunting and battle training wasn't working out for her? Duskstar listened to Paleheart as she discussed her experience as ThunderClan's only medicine cat, when she was, if Duskstar recalled correctly, still fairly young. Duskstar could definitely sympathize, as Grassystar had died very recently and he had not even seen each season a full three times yet (well, still has not, in fact), and having been deputy for only a few moons before her death, Duskstar was easily able to understand being thrown into a difficult position with a lot of responsibility. Having the lives of a Clan of cats on one's shoulder was never an easy task, especially when it was one's duty for pretty much the rest of their life.

When Paleheart paused, Duskstar flicked an ear, waiting for her to speak again. Was she trying to decide how to tell something, or was she simply taking a moment of silence for the queens who were forced to give up one of their precious kittens? ThunderClan's leader stopped walking and closed his eyes for a second or two, deciding that honoring those queens and the kittens who were taken from them when they were far too young.

Paleheart spoke again, and Duskstar opened his eyes again. He purred for a moment, "I would have kits, but it seems that there are no she-cats in this Clan interested in a tom who seems to have little emotion or care for others. Hopefully I'll find a she-cat who appreciates my cold, outer appearance enough to see through it one day. It's truly a great sorrow, but being they're so young when it happens, parents don't exactly get as much time to bond with them. Of course, I pity the parents having to go through this, but I don't think I would... I don't think I would be as depressed about it. Maybe I'm wrong. I suppose I shouldn't speak, considering I'm not a father."

[Paleheart]

It was interesting, hearing a tom so openly admit to wanting kits.  Most wanted to pass on their bloodline, sure, but not so much take on too much of the fatherly side of the deal.  Of course, not many toms would have a casual conversation with her.  The only conversations had were to list off complaints to see if she could assist them.  The friends she has are generally she-cats, toms were a bit more spotty on their reliance.  She supposed that's why it was so nice to hear what he had to say.  "Well, at least you can acknowledge the things that might ward off some she-cats.  But, I am sure that you will find someone, she will be persistent enough to poke through that shell of yours."  Paleheart spoke with confidence.  There were plenty of cats around who would take on Duskstar, she just knew it.  

His opinion on how he would feel about having one of his kits taken intrigued her.  "I suppose I had never thought of it that way."  A thoughtful light found its way to her eyes. It was true, the time that the parents had with the kits was so minimal there may not have been any bonds formed.  Surprisingly enough, the medicine cat was not disturbed by the way Duskstar claimed he would not be saddened by the loss of a kit.  "I think it might depend on the amount of kits birthed.  I mean, if there is only one kit to the litter there would be more distress caused.  And I think the queens react so wildly about it because of that motherly instinct.  But, just as you are not a father, I am not a mother so I can only assume."  Paleheart shrugged.  The pale cats love for kits was probably what made her feel so passionately about the Dark Hearts and their habits.


OOC: sorry for the shorty :c 

[Duskstar]

(Not a problem. ^^)

Duskstar snorted in amusement, "If she's that persistent, just imagine how much she'll nag me. 'Clean your nest, Duskstar!', 'Make sure you sharpen your claws every now and then, Duskstar'!" He purred, hoping that Paleheart, being a she-cat who was in a position where nagging a cat about taking their herbs was part of the job, wouldn't take offense. She seemed more like the humorous type, so the tom doubted that she would take it negatively, but some cats had a knack for being hurt about every little thing. He nodded in agreement with what she said about the size of the litter. It was easier to grow a bond with fewer kittens around, that was for sure, but some queens seemed to thrive on having many kittens and being able to show them all off.

Because Paleheart had stopped talking about her past, Duskstar had assumed she was finished (he was a wee bit oblivious on that day, and was enjoying going with the flow of conversation), and so he tried to figure out where to start with his. "Hmm, my story now, right? Well, it's pretty long. I can give you the short version now and the long version later, I suppose."

Duskstar was about to speak again, but he noticed a mouse digging behind a tree root, and he lowered himself, stalking forward and waving his tail as a signal for Paleheart to halt. The feline crept on the tiny rodent, and when he was fairly close, Duskstar pounced. One of his forepaws landed directly on the mouse, and it squeaked. Duskstar could feel its little heart racing, and he bent down and bit its neck, trying to end its suffering as quickly as possible. It was always irritating to hear them squeak, especially when one thought about the fact that they were going to kill it a moment later. Duskstar thanked StarClan for the life and buried it for later.

"My mother," Duskstar began speaking again, sitting on the massive tree root, "as you probably know, is Silverstorm. She's a senior warrior at this point, but isn't very close to being an elder, I would say. She and my father were still fresh warriors when they had my sister and I. You remember Dawnheart, yes? Dawnkit and Dusk-kit, day and night. That's another indication that my parents were young: silly names that fit together far too well for any independent cat's taste. If you and your sibling get day-and-night names, you're always associated with each other. I love my sister, but I don't like cats thinking I'm like her in personality. Anyway, when we were only a few moons old, our father, Flameflight, claimed he was going hunting to bring us back some big prey. Unfortunately, he never returned." Duskstar's eyes darkened, and he looked away for a split second before returning his gaze to Paleheart. "My mother took the loss the hardest, having loved him so much. She grew aloof and distanced herself from us. In fact, she had the nerve to lie to us, believing us too young to be able to handle the truth. I overheard the truth when I was making dirt, and I was not pleased, and in fact, I still don't forgive her. When kittens are born in a Clan, they are being brought into a world of fighting, illness, and death. There is no room to hide them from any of it. When I became an apprentice, my mentor was Blackshade. Blackshade was a good mentor, strong and hardworking, but he, too, hid a secret, as did your mentor." Duskstar paused, wanting to give Paleheart some time to take all of this information in before continuing.

[Paleheart]

Paleheart shook slightly with silent laughter as Duskstar mimicked the voice of a 'persistent' she-cat. It almost sounded like her on a bad day when she got stressed, just in a manly voice. The little cat let the thought of her voice being that deep entertain her for another moment before curbing her silent laughter. She shook her head with an amused expression. "I think a cat with that much persistence may be a bit much for anyone to handle." Paleheart could only imagine having to share a life with a cat like that. But then again, love is love and it works in mysterious ways. It made the intolerable, tolerable and the flaws seem so much less like flaws. Or at least, that is what she could assume.

The pace she kept was back to being brisk. As if the bit laughter lightened the mood that wasn't that dark in the first place. It seemed as though Duskstar realized it was his turn to share his woes. "Whatever version you feel better sharing I am good with.", she purred. Her purring ceased at her leader signal. She too, fell in to a crouched position to remain out of sight of whatever creature Duskstar had spotted. He was only still for a moment before leaping forward. There was a squeak and then silence. "Good catch.". Good catch, indeed. At least, to her it was. Paleheart was not paying much attention to the scents around her and probably would have walked right over the rodent.

As he settled, she did too. She found a spot against the root across from him. Her light frame leaned against the mass, hardly disturbing the moss that grew there. After settling completely she looked up at him, cocking her head just a bit seeing that he was seated on a slightly higher perch. At the mention of Silverstorm, Paleheart nodded. She had seen and heard of the older cat. Another nod at the mention of Dawnheart, memories of the warrior were faint. But just like Silverstorm, she was known around the clan for being the leaders family.

The pale she-cat listened intently. It was interesting how the names they were given bothered him. But, it was true that younger warriors seemed to either give opposite names or similar names to their kits. The pattern was a common one. There was a change in tone as soon as he uttered his fathers name. A look of sympathy flashed on her features when Duskstar spoke of what happened and the way his mother lied.

The Tom made a great point on why he hated the lie. It was true, they lived in a harsh world. Everything comes full circle at some point. And at that thought, Blackshade was brought up. As was her mentor. Paleheart gave a small nod, letting him know that she understood what he was telling her so far. She did not speak, for she didn't want to interrupt his thought process.

[Duskstar]

"It was one of my first - if not my very first - gatherings, and I was a bit nervous. Of course, I knew that almost every cat from all of the Clans would be attending the gathering, but what I didn't know was just how many cats there were. It was one of those situations where you logically know what to expect, but you don't fully understand until you actually experience it. When I got there, I was a bit overwhelmed, and I went to find Blackshade, but Smokecloud got in front of me and suggested instead that I talk to the other apprentices. I suppose it was easy enough to guess where I was going, but his behavior was a bit suspicious, to say the least. He was looking around warily and was doing everything in his power to stop me. Eventually, against my better judgment, I hissed at Smokecloud and dodged around him, losing myself in the maze of Clan cats. I eventually lost Smokecloud and found Blackshade, scenting him before I saw him. He was hidden behind one of the four great oaks, and being rather naive, I figured he was just trying to make dirt in private until I smelled the fresh scent of another cat and heard a feminine voice mixing with his deep voice. When I approached, they both freaked out, and Blackshade made me promise to keep my mouth shut after he finally admitted that this she-cat, a RiverClanner, was his mate, and she was apparently expecting his kits." Duskstar stopped talking, trying to remember how exactly the conversation went so he could best retell it.

"I don't remember the conversation in full, but I do recall being hurt and irritated that I had been left out of this secret. Being an apprentice, I didn't understand why Blackshade hadn't trusted me with this information. I always thought we were close, him having been like an older brother or a father to me, so none of it made sense. I had mentioned that Smokecloud knew, and Blackshade had simply said that it was because he was 'in a higher position'. I agreed to keep the promise, but only because Blackshade was leaving to join RiverClan soon, anyway, so it wasn't as though it would be a secret for long."

Duskstar cleared his throat, picking at the tree root with a claw, then mewed, "I can imagine it's all becoming clearer to you now. I don't like liars and I don't like secrets. I make it a point to be close to those that hold positions of power in my Clan because I need to know I can trust them when I need them most."